How to Handle Unresolved Conflicts in Marriage

marriage conflicts

Text: Ephesians 4:26-27

“And don’t sin by letting anger gain control over you, don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.”

  1. Get the anger out of conflict before processing it. Cool down before you talk, but commit to talk as soon as possible – always within 24 hours.
  2. Stick to the issue and stay on the subject.
  3. See yourself as a team. Always remember who the real enemy is, its not you or your mate! Attack the problem, not the person.
  4. Affirm your spouse and your marriage during discussions.
  5. Be responsible for your own anger. No one has made you angry, you chose to deal with the problem with anger.
  6. Take the lead in resolving the issue. Your spouse may be clueless there is a problem.
  7. Find a peacemaker if necessary.
  8. Use “I” statements when telling your spouse you’re angry. “I got angry when you made fun of me” or “I felt unimportant when you were late and didn’t call”.
  9. Remember, anger is not a sin, but it is often a secondary emotion triggered by jealousy, insecurity, fear, fatigue or other feelings.
  10. Forgive, forgive and forgive.

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